A Few of Our Favorite New Vibrators

May 14, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Buying a vibrator can be a tricky task — just because it looks cool in your friendly neighborhood lady-friendly sex toy store (or online) doesn’t mean it’ll be great once you get it home. Too strong, not strong enough, too complicated — picking a vibrator is almost as complicated as picking a man. Luckily, we’ve tried several out so you don’t have to. Here are a few of our recent favorites:

Lelo Ina: We appreciate the sleek, modernist design of this easy-to-use vibrator. (We, personally, are not huge fans of vibrators that try too hard to look like penises. When we want the real thing, we’ll have it, thanks.) This two-pronged model allows for simultaneous vaginal and clitoral stimulation, though we happen to prefer just letting the vibrator work its clitoral magic and then call it a day. This more than does the job, with lots of fast/slow variations as well as several different kinds of rhythmic pulse. The up/down/left/right buttons on the Mac-inspired white plastic handle are very easy to use, and we love that this is part of a new crop of vibrators that charge up instead of requiring batteries. We don’t even want to figure out how to get batteries anymore, and there’s nothing sadder than your vibrator running out of charge when you want it most. Did we mention this also comes in three gorgeous colors?

We-Vibe 3: This design is so different that it’s a little intimidating at first: What to do with this purple, U-shaped, vibrating silicone thing? Turns out it’s pretty smart. One end goes inside, one goes outside, and you get that magical vaginal/clitoral stimulation in a way that doesn’t feel too forced. And yes, there’s even plenty of room left inside you to allow this to be, as the instructions tell you, “worn while making love.” (Being small, we were skeptical, but, yay, technology!) It’s also chargeable and comes with a cute little remote that makes it fun for your partner even if he/she is just watching (and controlling) from the sidelines. Most importantly, it works. And it, too, comes in three classy colors, complete with travel case!

Filed Under: Feminism in the Bedroom Tagged With: , ,

Links for Sexy Feminists: Cohabitation, Tucker Max shenanigans, and more …

May 9, 2012 By Leave a Comment

YourTango tells us we can go ahead and live together: Studies say we won’t get any more divorced than people who don’t cohabitate before marriage, hurrah!

Jezebel reports: Tucker Max is still gross, and involving Planned Parenthood in his grossness.

The Feminism of The Beastie Boys. Jessica Valenti offers a beautiful tribute to the late Adam Yauch at The Nation. Not only does it feel great that one of our favorite groups of all time has made a difference in the world for women but it reminds us how important it is to allow anyone—famous hip-hop kids who once rapped about women as commodities or your everyday lady—to evolve. No one is born a perfect feminist, but everyone has the chance to become one and live a conscious, fair, just life.

Yay for female action heroes: Ian Grey reports on the Katniss/Lisbeth/etc. phenomenon for IndieWire.

President Obama stands up for gay rights. Barack Obama announced Wednesday that he believes gay couples should have the right to marry, period. He’s the first U.S. president in the history of the nation to do so. All we can say is: Fuck yeah, Mr. President! Maybe next we can pay women equally and enact a family leave policy.

We love comedian Katie Goodman: And wish we could go to her Improvisation for the Spirit workshop at the Omega Institute in upstate New York next week. Maybe you can!

Filed Under: Being a Sexy Feminist, News Tagged With: , , ,

Violence Against Women Act Hypocrisy: A Call to Action

May 3, 2012 By Leave a Comment

A new Bill to reintroduce the Violence Against Women Act that is up for debate in Congress next week includes some heinous language. A sample:

It weakens or deletes entirely some of the vital improvements in the Senate bill, including the strong provisions that are designed to increase the safety of Native women and the needs of the LGBT community. The bill also contains damaging provisions that create obstacles for immigrant victims seeking to report crimes, increase danger for immigrant victims by eliminating important confidentiality protections, undermine effective anti-fraud protections, and roll back years of progress to protect the safety of immigrant victims.

This is antithetical to supporting violence against women. Call your representatives and tell them: fuck this shit! And do it soon; the bill goes up for committee next week.

Visit opencongress.org for an easy way to contact your representatives. Or target the key players involved here.

 

Filed Under: Activism: Anyone Can Do It Tagged With: , , ,

Feminism vs. Motherhood

May 3, 2012 By Leave a Comment

It probably goes without saying that I believe feminism and motherhood are not mutually exclusive. But feminism continues to be targeted as the cause of parenting woes rather than the solution to them. Labored rant to come on the new Sexy Feminist sister blog, FeministMommy.com. Stay tuned for launch this month.

I am impressed, however, by the balance and sound arguments in the New York Times‘s latest Room for Debate round table, “Feminism vs. Motherhood.” There’s an attachment parenting advocate who defends being feminist while breastfeeding and co-sleeping; an unapologetic workaholic mom who believes being the best that she can be is the best thing she can do for her children; a grandma who reminds us we need stop judging each other—a mom of a special-needs child echoes that sentiment; that lady who thinks French moms are the creme de la creme; and a mothering traditionalist (think: 1950s housewifery) who blames feminism for pretty much everything wrong with society and its children.

The latter argument is a given in this debate, and though hers is not alone in attacking feminism for causing women to devalue marriage and family, in this debate it’s hardly the loudest. Mostly because for perhaps the first time I’ve clicked on an article with a headline like “femimism vs. motherhood,” (and there seems to be a new one every day), I see  a wealth of perspectives. Though each essay was written and published independently, the series reads like a conversation. It gives me hope that we can have civil, educated, open-minded debates with other women on this topic. Because the one thing we all have in common—whether we sling our babies with us everywhere or formula-feed while working 60 hours a week—is that we all struggle with balancing the demands and importance of raising our children while maintaining our identities as individuals.

Doing both is perhaps the hardest thing about parenting and I believe the most important.

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: , ,

Your Women’s Health Checklist

May 3, 2012 By Leave a Comment

May is Women’s Health Month. Here’s an essential checklist for every woman:

Get a pap smear and breast exam.

Get a mammogram if you’re in your 40s or above; immediately if you have a history of breast cancer in your family.

Have your cholesterol checked, eat heart healthy, exercise and reduce your stress. Heart disease is the leading cause of death among women.

Support public health programs for women, advocate for and donate to Planned Parenthood, and contact your lawmakers to tell them you’re so not down with the government trying to diminish healthcare for women.

The next time you visit the doctor, do your research, seek second opinions and ask tons of questions. Advocate for your body’s well-being and health; it’s the only one you’ve got.

Filed Under: Being a Sexy Feminist, Diet & Exercise Tagged With: , , , ,

A Love Letter to the Men of New York

April 18, 2012 By Leave a Comment

You may have heard any number of unflattering things about New York’s male dating pool—their slacker attitudes, their commitmentphobia, their lack of ability to plan a date beyond drinks in a bar. But as a woman who just moved to New York City from Los Angeles, I’d like to openly declare my love for the men of New York, and to come to their defense. Men of New York, you give me the impression that I’ve finally made it to the dating big leagues.  In the four months that I’ve been dating here, I’ve found a refreshing maturity and sense of character in the men I’ve been meeting and I’m afraid there’s no going back.

There are women in LA who argue that men there are more adventurous than men in other parts of the country, that they’re young at heart and a blast to date. These women enjoy dating the dreamers and find that men in New York are too serious and obsessed with their work.  There have been women here in New York who look at me with shock and horror when I relate my positive outlook on the scene here.  It’s possible I am having such a unique experience because I’m starting over in a new place and therefore radiating a positive energy of optimism, freedom, and fearlessness.  A fistful of great guy friends have confirmed this: Men can read that energy from a mile away and are drawn to it. If there’s a real lesson to be drawn from my experience, that’s probably it. It’s crucial to be happy with myself; to respect myself, love myself, and treat myself the way I’d want or expect any man to. It’s just as important to follow my heart as it is independently of a man.  If I feel like living in New York, I’m not going to wait for a man to take me there, I’m going to be on the move.

[Read more...]

Filed Under: Flirting & Dating Tagged With: , , ,

5 Feminist TV Shows to Watch This Spring

April 12, 2012 By 1 Comment

It might be the most feminist TV season ever — and not just because there’s no Bachelor at the moment! Here, a few of our favorites to put on your must-see list:

Girls: Let’s just say you’re not allowed in the young, cool feminist club right now if you don’t watch this show when it premieres April 15. Seriously, everyone is talking about it. It also happens to involve Tiny Furniture’s Lena Dunham, producer Judd Apatow, and a wickedly realistic take on life as a struggling, confused, terminally poor young woman. So, win-win.

Mad Men: The drama phenomenon has been hinting at the coming feminist movement since its storytelling began in 1960 (with plenty of ’50s sensibility left over). Now that we’re deep into the ’60s, there’s no escaping the impact of women’s lib. Peggy is now openly lamenting having to “act like a man” to get ahead in her job, while Joan showed her military hubby the door for dominating her for too long. Thanks to those ladies’ show-stealing turns, we barely even care anymore what happens to erstwhile philanderer Don Draper. Oh, and he’s having terrible guilty fever dreams about that, by the way; his seeming desire to make good to second wife Megan makes her more intriguing to us than we thought possible.

Veronica Mars: Yes, our favorite crime-solving teen is back, thanks to cable. SoapNet, known for its awesomely addictive repeats of such hits as The O.C. and One Tree Hill, is now running Veronica, which brought us Kristen Bell, noirish intrigue, and important issues in one package. Set your DVR for the April 15 marathon that kicks it off.

[Read more...]

Filed Under: New Feminist Icons Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Madonna Doesn’t Do Encores

April 2, 2012 By Leave a Comment

We’re thrilled to have this fantastic guest essay by writer Kristin McGonigle, who’s featured in the new anthology Madonna & Me. The following is a special piece she wrote for a recent New York reading event, and we’ve got it exclusively here. Check out her other piece about the patron saint of sexy feminists in the book, which you can buy here.

 

I remember thinking, as I was walking to Dave and Laura’s place that night, that marriage seems like something I could give or take. It was a balmy fall night in 2008, and I headed to their place in Jersey City to meet their new baby. To me, I thought, marriage is like health insurance; I can successfully survive without it, but it seems like a responsible thing to get involved in at some point. I usually think about marriage when I have to do things like, walk alone at night in Jersey City or carry heavy things up the stairs in my fifth floor walk-up. Or when I really need health insurance.

What I do like about marriage, as it pertains to other people, is that it can often make your friends doubly excited to see you, just to have someone new in the house. When I got to Dave and Laura’s place, they were outside talking to a neighbor. Dave wore his tiny daughter in a Baby Bjorn, and because he is a considerably tall guy, it was kind of funny how high up she was. After I met her they introduced me to their neighbor, Amy.

“So, do you guys want to go see Madonna tonight?” Amy said, holding up an envelope. “I have two tickets, and I can’t use them. I have to get back to Sloan Kettering.”

I instantly assumed that Amy was a doctor or nurse, along with her role as a Madonna ticket-wielding angel from heaven. I looked at Dave and Laura, who were shockingly not eagerly grabbing at the envelope.

“Of course, we have to take them,” I said. “It’s Madonna.”

“I can’t go,” Laura said, “I’m nursing and I am still really uncomfortable. I just wouldn’t enjoy it.”

I looked at Dave, who along with being a dude, is a musician, and not exactly a fan of non-ironic pop music. I could understand his apprehension at first.

“If you can tell me how the hell to get there from here, I could go by myself,” I told them.

“I’ll go,” said Dave. “It will be interesting.”

“Dave,” I told him, “along with the birth of your daughter, this will be the most interesting thing to happen to you this year.”

“They are great seats,” Amy said, “put them to good use. Paul gave them to me for our anniversary.”

That’s when I realized she didn’t work at Sloan Kettering. Dave had a great affection for Paul and told a lot of stories about their nights out together in Jersey City. Paul was a great character. He had gotten sick really quickly, and his doctors were confounded about what was causing it. They realized he had a rare blood disease, and they putting forth their best eleventh hour fight. And Amy just handed over her anniversary present to us, unblinkingly, so she could go be with him.

[Read more...]

Filed Under: Being a Sexy Feminist, New Feminist Icons Tagged With: , , ,

Links for Sexy Feminists: Contraception, the male gaze, porn on planes, and more …

March 27, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Chris Piascik sums up the contraception/Planned Parenthood debate in a drawing: “If this doesn’t describe out of touch with Americans, I don’t know what does.”

Jezebel’s Lindy West gets transcendent picking apart a douchey Globe and Mail piece: “Titled ‘Why men can’t—and shouldn’t—stop staring at women,’ the piece attempts to make a reasoned argument for why the male gaze isn’t creepy (in fact, men are doing society hella favors!), but instead reads like an episode of Law & Order: SVU (one of the ones where Liv uses her sexuality as a weapon and it backfires and Elliot has to rescue her).” Her evisceration only gets better from there.

We heart mentoring young feminists: And we kinda want to take this debate workshop that Ms. talks about here even though we’re grown women.

An interesting women-in-tech mini-controversy: Two recent semi-public sexist incidents in the overwhelmingly male programming industry prompted a swift and decisive outcry — refreshingly, not from feminist agitators, but from the industry itself, as reported by blogger Brian Curtin. This seems like good news — if one company is so quick to denounce another for “hiring women to bring you beer,” that means lots of these places genuinely want to welcome women to their high-paying, in-demand ranks.

Yeah, we’re gonna have to support a no-porn-on-planes rule: We’re neither prudes nor Miss Manners, but it just seems rude to peruse porn when you’re crammed into those tiny seats so close together. YourTango has more on one women’s crusade against such antics.

 

Filed Under: News Tagged With: , , , , ,

Feminist or Not?: ‘The Hunger Games’

March 27, 2012 By 12 Comments

There’s no doubt that The Hunger Games is helping prove to the world the power of women. This film, based on a book by a female author, and revered with cultlike obsession by millions of women around the world, just set box office records previously reserved for boy wizards and a sinking cruise ship. But is The Hunger Games, and its bow-and-arrow-wielding heroine, Katniss Everdeen, a pro-woman feminist powerhouse or another example of oversexualized, uberviolent excess? We have mixed emotions about the whole thing, so here are the two sides. What do you think?

Feminist!

Katniss Everdeen is a badass. The Hunger Games is often compared to Twilight because both are female-targeted fantasy fiction, written by a woman with a female lead character. But Katniss is no Bella Swan. Rather than moping and brooding after an aloof, abusive guy, er, vampire, Katniss is a little more focused on saving the world. She’s the hero of the story not because she’s a woman but because she’s brave, loyal, determined and human. She fights for good, stands up to evil and the focus of her character is that she’s a warrior, rather than a sex object (we say a big thank-you that Jennifer Lawrence’s breasts weren’t forced to be a supporting character like so many other action ladies’ have been—yeah, like, all of them.) One feminist blogger even noted that the gender of this character could be exchanged without changing the story at all. That’s pretty revolutionary. [Read more...]

Filed Under: New Feminist Icons, News Tagged With: , , , , , , ,
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